It’s Too Damn Hot

The high yesterday was 102 degrees at the airport (a record-breaking high for the date), and it was 98.6 here in our little micro-climate at Willow Cottage. I reacted by making huge pots of food, a vegan paella and a corn chowder, which made no sense as everyone is about to leave for the fair and there will be no one to eat leftovers. Everyone said it tasted just like paella; I realized that I had never had paella, since I’m allergic to seafood. It tasted okay to me. I suppose I’ll be eating it for a while. I’ll have to freeze it in small portions. It’s so hard to predict how much people will eat.

The house is in chaos, strewn with camping equipment. We have all sorts of unexpected, if welcome, guests. The Willow Cottage denizens, at least those who are going to the fair, spent the evening tromping around, looking for sleeping pads and tents. David and I made a run to the Joe’s last night to get beach chairs, flashlights, and batteries. I looked at sporting bras, which I desperately need, since I’m changing sizes constantly, but was too tired to try them on. I bought a couple last week and promptly lost one of them, so I’ve been living with just one bra, and it gets soaked with sweat in this heat. I need to sort through all my clothing and possessions and throw out most of them, but it’s too damn hot and I’m not up for any sort of physical labor anyway.

At about 9:30 last night my energy gave out entirely and I had to go to bed, but my office in the attic, where I usually sleep, was an inferno. David cleared a space on his bed and brought my fan down from the attic and pointed it at me. I finally fell into a sweaty sleep while everyone else in the house continued to dash to and fro stashing little items of clothing and equipment in their suitcases.

The central dramas in my life, though, are taking place off stage. Chelle gets her lumpectomy today. I talked to her yesterday as she sat in the ferry line with Hank on her way to the hospital for some preliminary procedure. She sounded pretty good when I talked to her, but she was on Valium at the time. However, today is the day of the real surgery. She’s probably in surgery as I’m writing this. Hank says he’ll call as soon as he hears anything.

My friend who’s on the psych ward is continuing to improve. She’s not so upset or angry and she’s got a great psychiatrist. She’s still somewhat manic. The night before last she was up all night making plans to start a healing retreat in New Mexico. She had also decided to write a bestseller about the medical system in America. I gently told her that she didn’t have to push the river and wear herself out at this point. It was all going to unfold as it was meant to unfold. She just needed to rest, meditate, and observe. She could relate to that. Now I hope she can just do that. I hope I can just do that, too: rest, meditate, and observe.

I talked to her daughter yesterday, who seems to be retaining her sense of humor. My friend was complaining yesterday about another patient on the ward who was in the midst of an intense manic episode and Would Not Shut Up. My friend’s husband and daughter were amused by her annoyance at the other patient’s non-stop rants and informed her that she was much worse when they brought her in. She was pretty stunned to hear that. But she’s slowing down enough to hear that, and to understand how her behavior has been affecting others. I just pray that she can get enough sleep to get grounded. A really dear friend of hers is flying in soon to help out. I had volunteered for the job, but I’m not a good candidate right now. I just don’t have the stamina. Dealing will people who are suffering from mania takes a lot of stamina. I should know.

However, every day and in every way I’m getting better and better. The day before yesterday was a good one. I didn’t crash all day long, meaning that I got through the day in relatively good shape without a nap. I napped a lot yesterday, however, until it got too hot to sleep. But I went to the store and I cooked for a small army (eight of us) yesterday. These would not be huge accomplishments for most people, but that was pretty good for me these days. I celebrate whatever small victories I can.

The clouds are moving in and the current temperature is 68 degrees at 7:30 am. The prediction is for 100 today, even with the clouds. However, the high will go down to 83 by Saturday, and with any luck and I can get my life and sanity back again.