Our Mothers, Ourselves

I was looking through some of the photographs that Howard brought back from his mother's house and found this one of Sophie and Elizabeth, Howard's mother and my mother. It was probably taken about fifteen years ago, right before my mother became really ill. I still think my mother was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I feel so blessed to have been her daughter.


I'm feeling better today, less inclined to chant my new mantra, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." I had a horrible night of insomnia last night. I probably should go watch television when it gets that bad because that always puts me to sleep.


I spent the day working on my new website: www.ebikerevolution.com. Chira (my housemate) helped me put it together. We're working out the bugs, trying to get it organized. It's a huge project, but I figure if I keep at it, it will evolve into something useful. I have conceived it as a launch pad for fomenting the ebike resolution. I'm working on creating a world where we use cars as little as possible, at least here in Portland. I think this has huge implications. I hope to create a forum for discussion and a way to brainstorm about how to transform Portland to a bicycle utopia.


I keep fretting about the employment situation. All sorts of potential jobs keep cropping up and despite my resolutions, I have applied for a couple of them. I really want a job that will not require a car so that I can get rid of mine. I'm determined to shrink my carbon footprint.


My friend Carol is living in Northern England near Lancaster and is being flooded out. She's about to leave there and doesn't know whether or not she'll return to find her house under a layer of mud. She writes:


"I just have to keep that in mind as I go through this horrible process
of letting go of my materialism. I never have thought of myself as
such, but culling through all our stuff, I am truly ashamed. I just got
that even if no deluges come and our sweet, quaint little village
remains in tact, which I fervently hope is the case, this had to
happen. We needed to be electrocuted into consciousness. We must never
again schlep so much stuff from place to place. I truly hope that we're
given enough time to get out of here so that I can give 90% of what we
own to people who need it. I can't wait to get out from under this mess
we've created for ourselves, but it is a great blessing in the guise of
a formidable enemy. What a way to learn non-attachment, eh? When I
said I wanted to lose weight before the celebrations, I had no idea I'd
be put on the Glamour by Refugee Diet! Jesus Christ, it's enough
already! Tomorrow, if this reprieve from being in a homeless shelter
continues, I'm going to toss everything we don't use or wear. That way,
if we do have to get out of here on a moments notice, we easily can.
Oy, do you believe our karma!"


So, that's the lesson of the day, of the month, of the year, of the decade, of our lifetime. Simplify, simplify, simplify. I had a workmate in Port Townsend who lost all her possessions in a house fire. I expressed my sympathy and she said that it some ways it was a relief to lose all those possessions. It was very freeing.


I'm inspired to get rid of some of my possessions. They come so easily to us and they are so hard to part with sometimes.