I was crabby and whiny last week, peeved that my recovery from surgery and chemo isn’t speeding along the way that I would like. My disciplines were falling apart. I wasn’t meditating, I wasn’t exercising. I was a mess.
Well, I’m still a mess, I’m still not meditating, I’m still not exercising, but I feel a rising optimism. Suddenly, I don’t give a damn that I don’t have a job, that I am not doing what I’m supposed to in terms of my discipline. In a very significant way, I’m doing just what I need to do.
What accounts for this change of mind? I’m sure a lot has to do with the fact that my homeopath gave me a new remedy last week. I managed to reorganize my office (with Petra’s help) which also improved my outlook. I had a very nice weekend with lots of visitors. And the weather is cool and rainy, which tends to cheer me up. Don’t ask me why.
I went out on my ebike today to pick up some Coconut Bliss ice cream (a fabulous vegan treat). It was drizzling and I rode through the rain; it felt so good. I suppose I was made for the Pacific Northwest. I actually like the rain. It is cleansing and invigorating. I find endless sunshine and heat oppressive after a while.
Earlier today I had my appointment to get the penultimate fill for my expander. The doctor announced that I was 490 ml and had 160 more to go. I was adamant that I was at 510 and had 90 more to go. She was insistent and decided to show me the medical records, taking a rather patronizing tone. It turned out that I was right. She said, yes she had made an error in math. Howard pointed out that she had made an error in arithmetic. As a patient, it behooves one to keep track of these things. It’s painful enough expanding it this far. To expand it further than necessary would be really painful and time consuming.
I had another 50 ml of saline added today. The photo shows how peculiar it looks. The expander is huge and placed really high. This is the way that they always do it. And one can see the Frankenstein breast on the left, after the reduction. It’s hard to imagine cramming 40 more ml of saline in there, but that’s what’s happening next week. We scheduled surgery for the implant for the 18th of September.
It’s getting to the point that I need to take pain medication. I was able to go through the mastectomy without using them, but this process is much more painful, especially at night. As long as I’m sitting up, I do fine. Lying down is a different matter. I barely slept last night. I really hate pain meds because they make me feel groggy and I get constipated. However, those side effects are beginning to seem minor at this point. I took 5 mg of oxycodone with a cup of green tea this afternoon and that was a good combination, although not one that will work after 4 pm, I would imagine.
Well, I’m still a mess, I’m still not meditating, I’m still not exercising, but I feel a rising optimism. Suddenly, I don’t give a damn that I don’t have a job, that I am not doing what I’m supposed to in terms of my discipline. In a very significant way, I’m doing just what I need to do.
What accounts for this change of mind? I’m sure a lot has to do with the fact that my homeopath gave me a new remedy last week. I managed to reorganize my office (with Petra’s help) which also improved my outlook. I had a very nice weekend with lots of visitors. And the weather is cool and rainy, which tends to cheer me up. Don’t ask me why.
I went out on my ebike today to pick up some Coconut Bliss ice cream (a fabulous vegan treat). It was drizzling and I rode through the rain; it felt so good. I suppose I was made for the Pacific Northwest. I actually like the rain. It is cleansing and invigorating. I find endless sunshine and heat oppressive after a while.
Earlier today I had my appointment to get the penultimate fill for my expander. The doctor announced that I was 490 ml and had 160 more to go. I was adamant that I was at 510 and had 90 more to go. She was insistent and decided to show me the medical records, taking a rather patronizing tone. It turned out that I was right. She said, yes she had made an error in math. Howard pointed out that she had made an error in arithmetic. As a patient, it behooves one to keep track of these things. It’s painful enough expanding it this far. To expand it further than necessary would be really painful and time consuming.
I had another 50 ml of saline added today. The photo shows how peculiar it looks. The expander is huge and placed really high. This is the way that they always do it. And one can see the Frankenstein breast on the left, after the reduction. It’s hard to imagine cramming 40 more ml of saline in there, but that’s what’s happening next week. We scheduled surgery for the implant for the 18th of September.
It’s getting to the point that I need to take pain medication. I was able to go through the mastectomy without using them, but this process is much more painful, especially at night. As long as I’m sitting up, I do fine. Lying down is a different matter. I barely slept last night. I really hate pain meds because they make me feel groggy and I get constipated. However, those side effects are beginning to seem minor at this point. I took 5 mg of oxycodone with a cup of green tea this afternoon and that was a good combination, although not one that will work after 4 pm, I would imagine.
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