Last Gasp of the Year

It’s a beautiful day out there, this last day of 2006. The sun is shining. I’ve been inside, though, mostly talking on the phone. Wolfe called from San Francisco to apprise me of the behavior of neighborhood dogs (who are far more intelligent and engaging than the human neighbors he has described). And Jasper called to say that the play is in tech now. He’s listening to all the arguments, but is blissfully uninvolved as he’s merely an actor and thus considered only a prop.

He’s having the usual trouble with Paul. Jasper and Paul and a few actors have a song in the opening scene in which Jasper played the accordion. It was a complicated little tune but Jasper learned it. However, Paul had no idea where the beat was, so Jasper found a tambourine and started banging out the beat, trying to refrain from beating it onto Paul’s skull. His efforts were so successful that Jasper has now become the tambourine player and has had to ditch the accordion after all that hard work.

I had a restless night. My arm ached, I assume from bone pain from the neulasta and Advil didn’t touch it. I woke every couple of hours drenched in sweat, thanks to hot flashes. Chemically induced menopause is settling in and it’s very unpleasant. I used to be able to regulate my body temperature without thinking about it, but no longer. I have several layers to peel off as I get progressively warmer: hat, fleece vest, pajama top, quilt, blanket, and sheet. And I have to get up and pee every couple of hours. That’s another chemo symptom, urinary urgency. If I don't hope to the minute I feel the urge, I risk wetting my pants. There are so many indignities attached to this adventure.

Meanwhile my room gets messier and messier because I just don’t have the energy to pick it up. The sheets need changing. I need to go to the store to replace some supplements. It’s all not going to get done anytime soon, I can tell.

Despite my complaining, however, I am feeling better. Food is more appealing. I feel more cheerful. It's New Year's Eve and everyone is preparing for a party at our house right now. I'm not a lot of help, of course, but I'm watching on as the house is cleaned and the food is prepared. Last year was my favorite in a long series of NYE parties. We did the Mad Hatter's Tea Party with a huge long table full of pots of tea, cucumber sandwiches, and little cakes. We had several Alices and several March Hares. I made a huge duchess hat. (Another hat! I'll have to post a picture on the blog.) This year is an 007 party. We'll have a mock casino. As I've never felt the slightest interest in James Bond, I can't imagine it will be nearly as fun. Besides, JB drinks martinis, not tea. Tea is much more my speed these days.

Nancy C stopped by last nigh to give me a hat and earrings. It was an especially gorgeous hat so I had to include it, assuming the picture will load properly. She had surgery and lost 100 pounds. Last year about this time she came to the house and none of us recognized her. It was very surreal. A woman came into the house who knew our names and was chattering away and we had no idea who it was until I turned my head away and heard her voice. Then I knew it was Nancy. It's an amazing transformation. She said all her health problems disappeared along with the weight: high blood pressure, arthritis in her knee, asthma, GERD. It's all gone. What an amazing story. She must eat tiny meals for the rest of her life, but she thinks that's a small price to pay.