Losing It (Hair, That Is)

I went to Havurah Shalom yesterday for services. It was the first community minyan in a while because so many 13 year olds are having bar and bat mitzvahs. If I don’t know the child, I generally give those a miss. So yesterday felt like old folks week; all the usual suspects showed up. Michelle came and sat next to me through services, which is always delightful. For one thing, she always knows what page we are on. And it's great to follow her strong clear voice as she sings the prayers. We're reading Genesis now in the Torah, the Jacob chapters. This week was Toldot. I love the Genesis stories. I guess everyone does; that’s why they are so popular for b’nai mitzvah services.

Afterward we had a potluck lunch (to which I contributed nothing – but such are the privileges one enjoys when on chemo). Everyone commented on how well I looked. I think the secret is not working. I have just enough energy to keep my private life going, but working would be too much at this point. Even at that, I go to bed early each night. And everyone was amazed I still had my hair, but I told them that it was probably my last day of hair. It was so good to be back at services. I hope I can continue to find more opportunities to attend during this chemo period.

My scalp was itching yesterday, a sure sign my hair was thinking of falling out, although I wasn’t quite there yet. I went home and called the hair dresser who shaves heads of chemo patients for free, but she wasn’t available. Teri Rowan, who used to be my next door neighbor, stopped by and brought me a green orchid just as I finished leaving a message for the hair dresser so I told her what I was up to. Teri said that she’d be happy to help and so she did. Teri is no stranger to the bald look since she shaved her head to raise money for charity for St. Baldrick’s Day. (Teri is a pediatrician and money raised from head shaving is donated to children's cancer charities.) We located a pair of scissors and David’s clippers and she had at it. I had hoped that after I had a close buzz cut I would be completely gray, but much of the red still dusted the ends. Because of my wide jaw, I had a sort of pinhead look, but it was kind of fun to be so free of hair. I immediately tried on my wigs. The red wig that I got to replace my hair was perfect. It was odd to cut off all my hair and then put it back on again without missing a beat. Then I tried on the beloved pink wig and wore that much of the evening. Wigs are a little scratch in general, but I can probably get a wig cap somewhere to mitigate that.

This morning I got out a set of bangs that I bought earlier and modified the band so that it fit more comfortably. I hacked away at them until I had a rough approximation of my usual hairstyle. They are brown (red was not an option) but they ended up looking pretty good under a hat. They are very comfortable, so that is probably going to be my first choice for everyday wear.

I went through my hat collection and I have a huge number of hats. It’s as if I’ve been saving them up for just this occasion. I have quite a number of scarves as well. This is going to be fun. At least so far I'm having fun. Ask me about during the seventh treatment.

My surgical wound where my port was put in was starting to get infected yesterday. It just wasn’t looking good and it was hard to wear clothes over it. Michelle (who is in the process of getting a master's degree in nursing) took a look at it and said to call my doctor, so I did. I got the on-call doctor and I sent a picture of it. He said to come in on Monday unless it got a lot worse – then I should go to the emergency room. I decided to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on it. It felt decidedly better this morning. I could wear clothes over it again without pain and it looked a lot less red. I can even wear my bra with the prosthetic again, which is a vast improvement. I tapped that it would be completely healed by Monday morning, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m hoping not to go up to OHSU on Monday. It just takes a lot of energy to do that and I prefer to spend energy on more delightful things.

Tasche is starting to sound pretty good on the banjo. She wants to start a folk-punk band featuring banjo. Not the first thing I would think of. Anyway, we're having fun playing banjos together. It's nice living in the same house. I can just pop into her room and we can sit and play for a bit. I so enjoy the young woman she is turning into. It's great to have a teenager around. She's the youngest of our four kids. Once she leaves the nest, that's it. We need to enjoy her while we can.