Twists and Turns

I got the results of the MRI today (finally). It was abnormal, which means chemo is on hold, and I’m going to have another MRI at 6:30 Thursday morning, I guess because I love them so. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. If this one is positive too, it’s another round of biopsies. I don’t want to contemplate it. I’m trying to think positive thoughts. It’s just a false positive. MRIs are famous for false positives. Everything is fine in that breast. It’s just that I was premenstrual when the first MRI was taken and the next one I will be post menstrual. It’s a false alarm.

Whatever it is, it’s going to delay the start of chemo. I looked at my pink wig with longing today. Best case scenario, I’ll start next week instead. Worst case scenario (heaven forbid) I’ll have a lumpectomy followed by radiation and then chemo. Or a mastectomy. We’re still driving upside down here. It's weird, all the twists and turns. Now I want to start chemo and last week I was fighting hard against it.

The good news for today is that I found out today that I can apply for disability. Evidently I signed up for it last year. There’s a 30 day waiting period from the time one quits working, but it’s a lot better than nothing. It should pay 70% of my salary. I will talk to my doctor about that tomorrow. If he’s willing to sign the paperwork, I’ll do it. My little mind is pretty blown at this point and I need to concentrate on getting well, not on working. I handed my whole case load over to my co-worker today who seemed happy to take it on. She’s recovering well from her chemo and even has a light sprinkling of hair growing in. I felt hopeful being around her and glad that she has the energy to take on the work that I’m leaving behind. That’s a good sign.

My thyroid is feeling better now. I’ll need to take it easy after the next MRI in hopes of not stressing it out again. I’m pleased that I was able to shake off the thyroiditis; my body seems to respond well to rest and relaxation. Who woulda thunk?