Energy Limitations

I awoke this morning late (after waking numerous times during the night) and leapt to my feet, for a change. I took a shower for the first time in days, since my energy had been running low and it was so damned cold in the house I didn’t relish the thought of being naked and wet. Anyway, the thought of being naked and wet didn’t phase me this morning and I was getting a bit ripe, sort of like being on an extended camping trip, only I was home. The shower felt great and it felt fabulous to finally ditch the pajamas I had been wearing for the past two days and stuff them in the laundry bin.

Invigorated, I went to the family room, put on an exercise DVD, and waved some light weights around, did some floor exercises and stretched for a total of 40 minutes. So far so good. By this time it was 9 o’clock so I went to make breakfast, first going through the dog ritual. She was so stiff this morning that she stood on the top step shivering, and not from the cold. She was genuinely terrified to make it down the steps. I took pity on her. I sat on each step and physically helped her down to the next one. I don’t know if I’ll regret that move tomorrow. I insisted that she come up the stairs on her own, though, and she did.

After breakfast, I realized that I had used up all my energy. Despite lying around all day, I’m still exhausted. I seem to be fighting the family cold. Tasche is the latest victim: she has a vicious one and we have to share a kitchen. It’s bad timing since chemo is only a few days away. Much as I dislike chemo, I’m not interested in delaying it, and a cold would definitely delay it. More tea! More water! More naps!

I finished reading A Whole New Life by Reynolds Price, definitely the best book I’ve read about this journey of life threatening illness. His disease was more devastating than mine. He lost the use of his legs. Of course, my mother ended up in wheel chair due to breast cancer. The cancer metastasized into her spine. I know the risks of this disease of mine. However, I prefer to think that I’ll be in that 89% who survive at ten years without reoccurrence. I’m not going to hit the tiny percentages on this one.