Hot Flashes and Other Chemo-Induced Indignities

I made it to the exalted age of 55 without a hot flash. I was easing into a late menopause (which may, after all, be the cause of my cancer since my body hadn’t slowed down at all and was being bathed in estrogen every month). I was told that chemo would bring on menopause, and indeed it has, and with a vengeance. Now I know first hand about hot flashes. My body has lost all ability to regulate temperature. Sleeping has become particularly problematic.

First of all, my right arm hurts all the time, from what I can only conjecture is bone pain from the neulasta shot. Neulasta stimulates white blood cell production in the bone marrow of the long bones. Therefore a side effect is bone pain which can occur anywhere, the hips, the spine, the joints, and the long bones, especially. However, this time it seems that my right arm has been singled out to do all the production. It aches and Advil doesn’t touch it. Oxycodone, however, works just fine. The only problem is that it induces constipation and that exacerbates the chemo-induced hemorrhoid, and goodness knows I don’t want to return to that. The arm pain, while constant, cannot in any way compare to the hemorrhoid pain. There is no point in risking that again.

Next, another chemo side effect I have to deal with is urinary urgency. I have to pee every couple of hours and if I don’t heed the first little twinge, I can end up wetting my pants. (I’m amazed at the bodily indignities being heaped upon me these days.) So, the pattern is, I go to bed, I’m cold (my office is unheated and is in the 65-67% range). I wear a hat, pajamas, socks, and am under three blankets and a sheet. Then I warm up. The hat comes off, the first blanket is flung to floor to remain there the rest of the night. Next the second blanket is peeled off to the side, then the third, then the pajama top comes off, then the socks, and finally the pajama pants. There I am, naked under a thin sheet and sweating and I have to pee. So I get up, go to the bathroom, and, being naked and sweaty, get chilled, so I get back into bed, put on the pajamas, pile on the covers, and start the whole process again. I go through at least five cycles during the night. It’s getting very tiresome. I could probably squeeze in a bit of sleep if the arm didn’t hurt all the time. I’ve tried tapping the pain down with EFT, but I haven’t managed to do so yet. Perhaps that’s something to work on during daylight hours instead of the middle of the night.

In general, I’m not keeping up with my disciplines. I haven’t been meditating lately, I’m not exercising, I’m not playing the banjo, I’m not tapping consistently, and my diet has gone to hell. I started eating bread and chocolate, my two comfort foods. I’m trying to get back on track again as far as that is concerned, but it’s a challenge. I’m very fickle about food as well. What sounds good one day sounds horrible the next so it’s hard to predict what I will want to eat. Except bread and chocolate. I always seem to want that.

I go in to NWCS today for a blood draw. Here’s hoping that my right arm has been single-handedly (pun intended) doing its job and producing enough white blood cells to keep neutropenia at bay.

The weather is wet and gloomy today, a typical Northwest winter day. I hear we’re in an El Nino cycle so we can expect more of the same. Spring seems a long way off.