Hot and Cold Running Flashes

Here's the hat from Merry, with the wig. It's a nice warm combination and very welcome in this cold weather. Still, I'm getting to the point that I think I look odd with hair.

Hot flashes, one after the other, have come to dominate my existence. I’ve given up tapping on them, I’m just trying to learn to live with them. The weather is cold these past few days. It never got above freezing. Prior to this chemically induce menopause, I seemed to run hot all the time and didn’t feel the cold as others do. Although it made summers unpleasant, it worked out well in winter. Now like everyone else, I get cold easily, except when I burst into flame temporarily due to a hot flash. Next I get sweaty, then cold. I’m continually taking off clothes and putting them back on. It makes sleep almost impossible. I kept track the other night and I had eight hot flashes in as many hours, although not at regular intervals. They can be 20 minutes apart or as much as three hours apart. There’s no predicting.

Ginny, my co-worker who recently went through chemotherapy, pointed out that one awakes just prior to the onset of the hot flash. I checked that out last night and she’s right. When I awake now, I immediately start shedding blankets, hat, and pajamas. By the time I have them off the hot flash hits and it’s not as uncomfortable. I’m learning little tricks. And then I put on my “Fight Cancer” tape which has a spoken meditation that generally gets me back to sleep. Ginny provided that as well when she attended my hat and earring party. It has proved to be a very practical gift.

She also provided me with a CD called “Chemotherapy” that is supposed to put a positive spin on chemotherapy but I just get exasperated when I hear the voice refer to chemo as “this healing liquid.” I can’t take it seriously. “Healing liquid,” indeed. Not when it’s put me in the hospital twice after destroying my immune system. I don’t think so. Ginny said she didn’t use that CD herself. I’m grateful for the other one, though.

I’ve also been listening to Autobiography of a Yogi which is calming. It doesn’t necessarily put me to sleep because it’s so interesting, but it’s very lovely. I first read it thirty-five years ago and it’s like getting reacquainted with an old friend.

Anhei loaned a copy of A Whole New Life by Reynolds Price. It’s the true story of a man’s bout with a very debilitating spinal cancer and his subsequent recovery. It’s a rather harrowing tale, but well written. He is writer and despite intense and horrible pain, was able to keep working through the ordeal. My various aches and hot flashes pale before such suffering. I haven’t yet finished it, but it’s the first book I have read quickly in a long time. Most I read a few pages at a time, get partway through and never finish.

It was too cold to walk these past few days. My energy was low and I didn’t exercise, which was discouraging but I’m not into forcing myself to do anything I don’t want to do right now. I’ve had enough of that for the time being. Yesterday’s adventures wore me out and today I felt like I was fighting a cold. I just wanted to lie low for a bit and read my book.

My diet has improved, though. I’ve been able to stay away from bread and chocolate, sweets and wheat. I’m sure the large doses of glutamine are helping in that regard. I’m still suspicious of uncooked vegetables, although I’ll eat fruit if I can peel it. Citrus fruit is in season so I’ve been indulging in that. I look forward to a raw food diet again when I’m done with chemo.