Questioning Chemotherapy

There are so many things to consider in cancer treatment. I read an article about how chemotherapy negatively affects brain function decades afterward and I was alarmed. One of the women in my support group completed chemotherapy several years ago and she says she still has trouble making sense of the page when she reads. Having a functional brain is very important to me. I didn't suffer through graduate school just to have chemo dull my intellectual abilities.

One of the problems I’m having is that I don’t buy into the chemotherapy model. In fact, I don't agree with the approach that Western medicine takes in general, especially to chronic disease. And chemotherapy, according to my surgical oncologist, improves my survival rate at 10 years by 3.8%, which seems pretty anemic. Without chemo or hormone therapy (HT), my survival rate at ten years is 83%. Here we are talking about survival, not recurrence, of course. HT pushes it up marginally more than chemo and together they push the survival rate to 89.9%. HT is not nearly as unpleasant as chemo, although it has its own drawbacks.

I have asked to have a test done called oncotype dx which lets one know whether or not chemo will work. If one falls into the low risk or intermediate risk group (for recurrence), chemo is not recommended. I talked to a customer service person at the test place today and the chance of being in the low risk group is 51%, and in the intermediate group is 27%. So there is a 73% chance I won't being doing chemo. And if I do, I'll be pretty sure that it isn't a waste of time, energy, and money.

Of course, the problem right now is that Blue Cross of California has denied the claim, at least initially. The test costs $3400 and chemo costs about $34,000. They'll pay for chemo, but not for a 73% chance that they could save themselves a lot of money. Go figure. Blue Cross says they've never heard of the test, and yet they have an account with the company and have paid claims for the test several times. Medicare even pays for the test.

Anyway, while I'm not counting any chickens before they hatch, I feel hopeful that 1) Blue Cross will come to their senses and pay for the test, and 2) the results will show that I'm in the low risk group. Once Blue Cross approves the claim, my doctor will send the tissue in and then it will take 10-14 days to get the results.

My housemate Stephen loaned me a book that I found quite pertinent to my particular healing journey, Profound Healing by Cheryl Canfield. She had advanced cervical cancer with no hope of recovery. She set about "dying well" and in the process healed herself. One of the images that I resonated with is her visualization of cancer cells as unreasoning children that are upset and in need of comfort and acceptance. It makes so much more sense than visualizing oneself as a battleground where evil cells are routed out and killed. I visualize my healthy cells mentoring and comforting these crying children cells, and turning them into to happy and healthy cells.

Like the author of the book, I was driving myself much too hard for much too long. I believed I was taking care of myself, but really, I didn't have a clue about how to treat myself well. I'm learning, although it comes slowly. For instance, I rode my bicycle 11 miles yesterday. I'm paying the price today. It's hard to remember that I'm still in recovery mode, especially when I feel good and especially when I just want my life to be "normal" again. I've returned to work, at least part time for now. However, I'm not terribly functional today because I'm suffering the effects of doing too much yesterday. Evidently I have to learn these lessons over and over again.